His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
