I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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