i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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