also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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