To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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