4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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