I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
