I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
