your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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