I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
