We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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