the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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