I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
