Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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