I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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