i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize