I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
