he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
