Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
