I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Actions speak louder than pants.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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