lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
