After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize