shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
