He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
