Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just google imaged poop.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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