How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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