the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
