My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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