do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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