weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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