I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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