You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
