Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
