I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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