"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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