I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I don't deserve a penis
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
