Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
