I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
