saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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