You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
