I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Oh god it's open bar.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
