I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
