First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
