Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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