I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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