My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
