he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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