never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
