Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
