You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
