At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We are all done wearing pants today
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
