I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
