I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
