I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
