I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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