Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
