I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
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